📰 Finally, a sex robot that does jiu-jitsu

Things That Keep You Up At 2 AM:

I am Legion. We are Many.

The ever-controversial BJJ gym uniform policy.

On one hand, you have the strict and traditional Art Of Jiu-Jitsu (AOJ) and Gracie Barra gyms that require that you buy and wear unpatched white Gi’s, and their gear only 💰

On the other end of the spectrum, you have gyms like Eddie Bravo’s self-appointed 10th Planet freaks who wouldn’t be out of place at Paris Fashion Week 👇

So…

This week’s big question: ⬇️

Last week’s results:

Last week we asked you - “Which Brand Are You Most Interested In Seeing Us Do A Gift Card Giveaway For?”

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟢 Hayabusa - 100%

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🟠 Gold BJJ

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🔴 Origin

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🔵 Tatami

Looks like Hayabusa is the flavour of the month 💪 . Watch this space - we will get the ball rolling and remember, if you want to make yourself eligible to win - all you need to do is refer 1 measly friend via the referral button below 👇

We Grow You Grow!

Being able to keep a secret is a great attribute 🤫 - but not when it comes to telling your BJJ buddies about this newsletter.

If you click that big red share button below 🟥 - you can:

• Help us grow so we can spend more time creating unbeatable memes (everyone wins)

• Bring some friends into the fold so they too can get their weekly BJJ newsletter fix

• Score yourself some of our epic free referral merch as a massive thank you from us

• & … sleep easy at night knowing you’ve done a damn good deed.

  

   

So, do yourselves, your friends and us a favour and help spread the word for us using the link below ⬇️

The Meme Open Mat:

It was right there behind your ear the whole time 🤔 

Think you’ve got the spiciest BJJ memes going around? Hit reply, send them through to get them featured 🔥 

Do Less. No, Wait, Do More:

The Good Option: These legs are made for lockin’ 🦵 

After his flawless 7 submission win streak at the ADCC East Coast Trials last weekend - Jacob ‘The Hillbilly Hammer’ Couch has put everyone on notice 👀 

He showed a nicely varied and effective game throughout his run - however, his entries and submissions were especially sharp 🔪 

If you’re fairly new to BJJ, or just simply train at a gym that still likes to ignore 50% of the body, then the idea of the leg game can be pretty intimidating - and even knowing where to start can be a real brain-buster 🧠 

Well, if this feels like you at all - click the link below and let Jacob run you through a quick and easy drill that will help you get your head around the mechanics 🔧 of outside ashi position and how you can look to retain it as your opponent defends.

Perfect for entry-level leg lockers of any belt colour 👇

The Not-So-Good Option: Being attacked by the Corporate Ladder 🪜 

Do you feel like BJJ has prepared you effectively for any self-defence situation? 🤨 

Pretty confident on the ground hey? Good - you should be. ✅ 

Reckon you’d be able to hold your own at your local bar if it all went south? Maybe you’re right.

What about ‘ladder attack’ huh? Do you even train ladder defence bro?

Well, this guy does, and he’s ready for you…

tomdeblass

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What’s Happening On The Mats:

Upcoming Events You’ll Wanna Know About:

The first section of our ‘What’s Happening On The Mats Section’ is now dedicated to highlighting some of the best events and athlete match-ups on the horizon.

This will hopefully make it easier for you to strategically plan those sick days ⏰ 😷 and re-mortgage for a Flo subscription 😬 💰

Here’s what has been announced lately that looks good:

1.) Tezos WNO 21

After dominating Patrick Gaudio at the last Tezos event - WNO 21 will again be headlined by Gordon Ryan as he takes on Lucas ‘Hulk’ Barbosa.

Beyond the Ryan-effect though, this card is stacked with A-players and great match-ups, including 3 title defences in total.

Who?: Gordon Ryan vs Lucas Barbosa, Pedro Marinho vs Rafael Lovato Jr., Diogo 'Baby Shark' Reis vs Diego 'Pato' Oliveira, Tainan Dalpra vs Troy Russell, Helena Crevar vs Julia Maele & Luke Griffith vs Roosevelt Souza

When?: Nov 30

Where to watch? Flo Grappling

2.) UFC Fight Pass Invitational 5

After a slow 2023 for him, Gordon is making up for lost time as the year closes out - signing up for the UFC Fight Pass Invitational 5 scheduled only a week and a half later than WNO 21.

For this card, Gordon Ryan is looking to take on Mason Fowler while his teammate, Meregali, takes on Ryan’s biggest rival in Felipe Pena.

GSP vs Nick Diaz was initially on this card too but injury took them both out (gettin’ old boys! 👴)

Who?: Gordon Ryan vs Mason Fowler & Nicolas Meregali vs Felipe Pena (more to be announced)

When?: Dec 9

Where to watch? UFC Fight Pass

3.) IBJJF No Gi European Championship

The European No-Gi champs draw some great competitors from all over Europe (& the world 🌎).

There are some top players here that didn’t quite get the results they wanted at the recent ADCC Euro Trials so it’ll be interesting to see how they approach this one 🧐 

Who?: Top competitors include Edwin ‘Junny’ Ocasio, Ashley Williams and Sam McNally, Oliver Taza, Tommy Langaker, Pierre-Olivier Leclerc, Santeri Lilius

When?: Oct 26 to 29

Where to watch? I have… no idea? 🤷 Probably Flo Grappling or YouTube after the event is finished.

A.I. is here to take over Jiu-Jitsu 🤖 

You may have thought A.I. was here to take your job and leave you homeless out on the streets - but it’s even worse as it’s actually here to take all of your training partners 😞 

The RollBot is a menacing-looking combination of a grappling dummy and a sex robot designed to give sensory feedback on your choke technique and joint-breaking mechanics 🤯 

Its creators have worked on a range of features to try and set it apart from regular grappling dummies such as:

• Choke sensors that only activate when correct choking pressure is applied 😴 

• Spring-loaded joints that ‘dislocate’ when hyperextended

• And even LCL & MCL knee injury simulations when you blast it with a heel hook (it’s just like real people!)

It sure is interesting, but at $4800 USD a pop - it’s probably much cheaper and more effective to just…go to class 🤷‍♂️ Don’t let me tell you how to blow spend your money though.

Regardless of whether you want one - Brandon McCaghren (a 10th Planet Black Belt under Eddie Bravo) unpacks it and puts it through its paces in the video above 👆 - breaking its limbs and choking it out until it screams FATALITY (…seriously). Worth a quick watch ✅ 

Eddie Bravo gets a stripe! 👦 

Eddie Bravo, the man most famous in the jiu-jitsu community for his stand-up comedy and whacky conspiracy theories, has just levelled up to a 4th-degree black belt 🔥 

Beyond his jokes and theories on flat earth 🌍 😬 Eddie is also responsible for some of the wildest innovations in Jiu-Jitsu (and fashion 🩲) history via his now infamous 10th Planet System.

Like it or not, 10th Planet has introduced and popularised ideas and concepts in BJJ that have been shown to dominate at the highest levels, such as the sexy & flexy ‘rubber guard’ and the nasty as sh*t twister submission.

Big Ups Mr. Bravo - to celebrate his newest piece of paper, let’s watch his incredible match against Royler Gracie at ADCC 2003 which was largely responsible for getting him on the map 👇

Who’s On Top This Week:

The ADCC ‘Trials Winner Power Rangers Power Rankings’ (missed an opportunity there Flo) is a Flo measure of who’s been bringing all the heat 🔥 to their trials run and leaving their competitors whimpering on the sidelines 😕

In determining an athlete’s power ranking ⚡️ - Flo looks at the following criteria with the ‘value weighting’ given in this order:

1. The number of ADCC veterans each winner defeated en route to gold

2. The athlete’s submission rate

3. The average match length of wins, rewarding those athletes who end the match in regulation, either by quick submission or by points

4. Finally - points for, and points against

It’d be remiss not to mention that Flo’s criteria when it comes to ranking athletes is not exactly…how do I say this 🤔 … universally appreciated. But it’s the best we’ve got until Tap Nap & Snap develops their own 😎

Jozef Chen’s domination of 3 ADCC vets puts him square at the top of these rankings, however, I’d argue Jacob Couch pocketing 2 ADDC vets of his own combined with a 100% submission rate over 7 matches is at least an argument for equal 1st 🥇 🥇 

It’ll be interesting to see if anyone else cracks the Top 10 in the remaining trial matches and in addition - it’ll be even more interesting to see how these rankings end up comparing to the eventual winners!

Stay tuned! 📺