📰 Tap Nap & Snap Is Back 💪

Things That Keep You Up At 2 AM:

Christmas. What a magical time 🪄🎄 🍖 

Between maxxing out your credit card 💳 to buy a pile of stuff no one ever really wanted and listening to your Uncle ramble on endlessly about the ruling Lizard elite 🦎 and their ‘new world order’ 🌏🙄 - you’d be forgiven for stuffing your face with as much cold ham as possible just to get through the holidays 🤢 #imtherealgrinch

Add in a case of beers here and there 🍻, a few more late nights than usual over the New Year 💥 🥱 and the fact that your BJJ gym might be shut for a week or two to finally clean the mats 🦠 …maybe your training slipped a bit through the holidays? 🤷‍♂️

No judgment here 🚫 - life’s for livin’ and BJJ is probably just your hobby (unless Gordon has finally subscribed) - but this week we want to know who amongst you loosened the belt and took some time off the mats vs. who ‘went to pick up milk’ and came back 2 hours later looking like a wet dog 🐶 

So…

This week’s big question: ⬇️

The last poll’s results:

Last time we asked you - “If You Could Only Ever Listen To 1 Genre On Your Gym Playlist - What's Your Pick?”

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ 💨 - Reggae (3)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🤘 - Metal (5)

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 😎 - Rap (0)

The metal-heads take the crown this time 👑 😎 🤘 with the high-rollin’ reggae crew 😮‍💨 not far behind … while the Rap crew went completely missing 🤷‍♂️

Too cool to vote huh!?

I’m personally pretty happy for most genres 🎶 to get a run whilst on the mats, but if I hear Buffalo Soldier one more time, I swear I’ll choke myself out 😴 

For all you metal-lovin’ mongrels, read on below and celebrate as Maynard James Keenan from Tool, A Perfect Circle & Puscifer earns his long-awaited Black Belt! 👇

The Tap’s ✋, Nap’s 🥱 & Snap’s 🫰From The Mats This Week:

You know the sport is getting big when God himself 💡 is getting involved in belt promotions (#allegedly) 🤦‍♂️👇

1.) Only God Can Judge Promote Me 🙏 😇 

If you’ve ever walked away from a grading feeling like you were ripped off 😡 and didn’t get the belt promotion you so sorely deserved - don’t stand for it because you have an option!

All you need to do is denounce all of your previous instructors, fabricate an entirely new branch of BJJ and get God to promote you! 👍 Simple!

That’s what Tearion Scott did and it seemed to work fine for him 🤷‍♂️

In a series of increasingly bizarre Facebook rants (nicely detailed by McDojo Life below👇), Mr. Scott details how the ‘slower minded’ among us will never understand:

• How he promoted his TWO 👯‍♀️ brown belt wives ahead of him before God promoted him to Black Belt #wot? 🧐 

• Why his special brand of Jiu-Jitsu (Seminary Ju Jitsu) is the only real Jiu-Jitsu #amen 🙏 

• How the Earth is actually flat #ofcourse 🌏

If you ever think the big guy is too busy holding the whole show together to answer your prayers for a new belt, or even just a little bit of tape to keep you on track, think again - he’s clearly got the time ⏰, you’re simply not worthy or probably just not listening properly 👂

2.) A Promotion God Would Actually Endorse ✅ 

For all you metalheads 🤘 that voted in last email’s music poll, hold on to your unresolved anger issues hat, because a man that many of you would actually consider a god, Maynard James Keenan, has finally landed his black belt! 🔥 

Truly embodying the ‘it’s the journey, not the destination’ mantra, Maynard started BJJ way back in 1996 under Rickson and has kept at it for 27 YEARS 🤯 whilst maintaining a relentless work schedule as the frontman for Tool, A Perfect Circle & Puscifer.

Not once did he crack and claim a divine promotion - he just stuck it out, got on the mats when he could and remained patient 🧘‍♂️

He also took any opportunity he could to train - like when an unruly fan ran on stage to try and hug him, he calmly set up the underhook and hit a textbook hip-throw right through to a back take - all while continuing to belt out the song 🎶 🔥 

The footage is grainier than the beach 🏖 , but if any moment deserves a straight belt promotion based on pure highlight-reel-ness - it’s this one 👇

3.) “What Did I Say? Oh Yeh? Double It” - Rickson Gracie

Rickson Gracie is a straight-up badass. No doubt about it. He is an undeniable pioneer for BJJ on many levels and commands the hespect of all who grace the mats.

But just how much of badass was he? 🤔

Well, it depends on what day you ask him 📅 , what the weather is doing ⛅️ and whether or not anyone was watching 👀 

Despite his fairly universal appreciation in the BJJ world, Rickson’s self-proclaimed competition record has always been a point of debate 🤼 

His professional record officially has him undefeated at 11-0, however, Rickson confidently states that his true record is actually 400-0! … *what’s that? … oh, apologies - 450-0!! … Wait, what!? 1000-0!!! 🤔 

That’s right. Doubling down on his already controversial numbers, Rickson stated on a recent podcast:

According to Rickson’s napkin math 🧮 - he gets close to 1000 wins if you count every tournament he ever entered, all the seminar students he tapped out and every streetfight he jumped in 🤕

Regardless of how you count it, the man is a legend 👑 The only person who could have truly tracked his entire career from start to finish is Papa Helio so it reeeally only matters what he thinks …

Oh, wait… 👇

Do Less. No, Wait, Do More:

The Good Option: Get The Pass On Lock 🔒

When Big D talks, we all listen 👂

Danaher himself is currently on an Australian tour to visit his dear old mumsy and pack out a few seminars while he’s at it 🔥 

In a not-at-all-humble brag, a few of us were very lucky to get front and centre at a recent seminar and run through his body lock passing system for No-Gi.

They say never meet your heroes, but in this case, ‘they’ are wrong. His coaching level and general enthusiasm to be there was unbelievable 🤯  - and the seminar was jam-packed with countless great details and concepts as you’d expect.

Most of what he went through comes from his latest instructional - and the video below will give you a great run through the whole system.

Grab a cuppa ☕️ and notepad 📝 👇

The Not-So-Good Option: Getting A Little Too Excited 🔥 

Pre-match nerves are something everyone experiences before a competitive match 😬 

It’s a natural response that we all deal with differently. Some of us get anxious and edgy while others get … well, a bit excited!

If you are prone to a bit of pre-match excitement, just be sure to tame it a bit before it gets the better of you.

Like this guy👇

The Meme Open Mat:

It’s amazing what 1-week can do! 😃 And it’s also amazing what 1-week can do 😞 

Think you’ve got the spiciest BJJ memes going around? Hit reply, send them through to get them featured 🔥 

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